I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

*sigh*

I sold my Mitsubishi 3000gt. (vr-4...just to brag a little)

I am sad.

I miss it already.

It was such a thrill to drive. When I sold my horse, I bought that car. So I always thought of it as my "horse replacement". I traded horse power for horse power. I mean, it wasn't a "daily driver/grocery getter" type car, that's what I have the Jeep for, but I'll still miss the special outings every-so-often.

I'm trying to figure out what my next "thrill" thing will be. (did that sound as bad as I think it did? thrill thing! Woo!)

Something tells me Rat's not going to let me buy a motorcycle. Hee!

Hmm. Something odd just crossed my mind (like what else is new, right?). I think I sold my car on the same day I bought the Jeep. How weird is that?

Anyway, I sold it to a guy who just got back from Iraq, so I feel pretty good about that. I'm glad he got the car he wanted so badly (and drove like 5 hours to get to). I makes me feel a little bit better. And I'm pretty sure he (and his brother) are going to take pretty good care of it. I doubt they'll take as good of care of it as Rat and I have, but then again we're a bit strange when it comes to our cars and stuff like that.

I also got more for it than I paid for it originally (but that didn't cover what we put into it), but still, I guess that's okay. We needed a new roof. Stupid wind storm. Stupid shingles. Stupid...um...like....air...and stuff. The horrible thing is, is that had we not had to pay for Rat's mom's funeral, we could have paid for the roof with no problem. And this just gets me pissed off more and more with her husband-of-2-years, or as he shall now be refered to on here, "Shithead". (and yes, that capitalized...for good reason!) Why did her children have to pay for her funeral? Why didn't Shithead pay for it? He's claiming that he's entitled to her entire estate! Yet he couldn't lift a finger to help her children plan her very unexpected funeral. Bastard! And on top of that, during their TWO YEAR MARRIAGE he left her TWICE! Then had a major stroke and realized that he had no one to take care of him and drive him around, so back he came!

I should really shut up. I'm just getting myself worked up again.

Anyway, so. My car. My beautiful, beautiful car. My baby. The Preciousssss. I will miss you. You will always be MY car.

Such an awesome car.

My brother once said "That car looks mean!" , which...yeah! It does!

I hope the guy who bought it will keep in touch. And if he wrecks it, I hope he knows I'm coming after him...and I'm bringing the creepy bunny cupcakes with me!

I have an Excedrin headache...and it's THIS BIG

We're getting a new roof put on as I ...uh...type. It sounds like they're playing hopscotch up there. I tried working in my office, but it's on the second floor and I couldn't stand it for more than 5 minutes. I kept having this thought that the roofers were about to come crashing through the ceiling and land on me (cartoon bug eyes and all) and squash me on the floor.

The cats are freaking out. Not quite as bad as when we got the chimney straightened (hee hee....chimbley...HI DAD!), but they won't go more than a few feet away from me and their eyes are about the size of saucers. Surprisingly, Shadow is fine with all that's going on. Normally he barks and runs around and has a fit, but he was just kind of...I don't know....interested...this time. At the moment he's gnawing on his Ultimate Chew (the only kind of treat that lasts more than a nanosecond with him). On the other hand, the neighbor's dog is going bananas. But I think he's a little nuts anyway.

...suspicious quiet....

Breaking for lunch, maybe? After 4 hours of constant banging and stomping overhead, the silence has a strange feeling to it.

I wish I could just get out of here and go to the gym, but the dude (yes, I just said "dude") who delivered the palets of shingles and other assorted roofy-type things decided that the best place to park them was behind my garage door. So now I can't get out. And the palets cannot be moved by meer barnmouse force. That option has been exhausted (as well as my arms).

Oh goody. More banging. *sigh*

And also, while I am whining...

And not only that, but this as well...

To say that I'm a bit peeved is an understatement.

I hope y'all's day is going better than mine so far! Happy Tuesday.

And just to make myself feel a little bit better....

More Letters To Gym People! Finally!

Yeah. I know. I've been horrible about posting lately. What can I say other than oops...sorry...my bad? So I'll try to make it up to y'all with some more letters to gym people. Yay! Aren't you excited?! I know I am! I mean really, me criticing people at the gym? Who wouldn't wanna read that?!

To Weird-Guy-In-Workshirt:

Umm. A workshirt? Really? How comfortable can that be? (Seriously y'all...a button-down workshirt with a name patch) I guess there's nothing really wrong with it, but dang if it didn't look weird. And please do something about the obviously itchy underwear you were wearing. I know that there are other possibilities for why you couldn't leave yourself alone, but I don't want to think about them.

So. In the future. Try a t-shirt at the gym. You'll find that you're much more comfortable and get lots less strange looks from other people. And speaking of strange looks, the itchy undies situation. Please remedy that. Or at least pick an elliptical more than one away from me when the entire line of them are empty. I was on the one at the end for a reason.

Thank you for your time,
The-girl-who-is-going-to-start-putting-"This Machine Is Broken"-signs-on-the-machines-around-her

To the Very Affectionate Couple:

Omigod y'all....get a room. No one wants to see that. I seriously thought I was gonna barf. That's the sucky thing about being on a workout machine and seeing something that makes you wanna hurl. You can run faster and faster, but you don't actually get away from anything. Like the guy in the bright red sweatpants and the bright yellow sweatshirt (yes, I'm talking to you...You looked like a hotdog) walking over to his girlfriend/wife/hooker/whatever (yes, now I'm talking to you, a bra is not a shirt) every 5 damn minutes to suck face and pat her on the butt while the girl on the elliptical (hey, now we're talking about me! in a respectable amount of clothes that don't remind me of any kind of food) is trying not to be sick.

See what you made me do? I've never seen so many parenthases in my life!

To recap: don't make out at the gym, especially when dressed as a hotdog and a stripper.

Barfing-ly yours,
the-girl-who-will-now-never-be-comfortable-wearing-anything-less-than-baggy-shirts-
to-the-gym-thanks-to-you


....and finally....

To The Hot Guy Who Doesn't Go To The Gym Enough:

Dear Hot Guy,

Please come back. I'm sorry about the drool. I promise to bring a towel next time. And maybe I'll even try not to stare as much (who am I kidding, I'll just wear my sunglasses). And even though you walk like you're pretty full of yourself, I won't judge. I mean, hell, if I looked like that I'd probably be pretty full of myself too. And hey, I could be wrong! You've just got a little bit of that Christian Bale in American Psycho thing going on. All that aside...you're pretty... ~drool~

Oops...there I go again.

School-girl-crushingly Yours,
barnmouse

**barnmouse disclaimer**

"NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT"

thankyouveddymuch

Note To Self:

Do not let hair dry while wrapped up in towel and then try to brush.

And also, ouch.

WARNING: DO NOT EAT MCDONALD'S CHEESEBURGERS FOR BREAKFAST

The Scene: Barnmouse and Rat's upstairs hallway by the linen closet.

Rat: *looking at the floor in the linen closet* We really need to pull up the carpet in here and put down the hardwood floor like the rest of the upstairs.

Mouse: Uh huh...

Rat: *looking up that the attic door thingy* And we need to look in the attic.

Mouse: Uh...why? To check for bodies?

Rat: *cocking his head like a dog who's heard something weird* shh shh shh...listen......

Mouse: *getting really creeped out* what???

Rat: pfffffffftttttttt

Rat: *grin*

Mouse: nice. thank you.

End Scene.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was pretty much the extent of my weekend. Yes, I know. You're welcome.

Letters to the Gym People (possibly with actual letters this time!)

To the guy walking on the treadmill beside me in socks,

*chanelling Bill Lumburgh* Yeeeaaaaahhh...kaaaayyy....I'm gonna have to go ahead and...yeeeaaahhh....ask you to just...just put your shoes back on. Kaaay? Yeeeaaaah. *takes sip from mug of coffee* Alrighty then.

*chanelling barnmouse* Seriously! Dude! Gross! Put your damn shoes back on. WTF?! You're not in your house. Sure, there are membership dues, but that doesn't mean you don't have to follow a couple of rules. They won't even let you in the mini-mart without shoes on and you think it's alright to kick off your shoes on the treadmill to let your feet air out? Umm. No?

Nose-scrunchingly Yours,
barnmouse

And that's not even the weirdest thing about this guy. When I got there, he had both shoes on and was walking like there was no tomorrow. Then, after I had been there about 10 minutes or so, he stops the treadmill, steps off and turns around and sits on it, breathing like he's about to have a heart attack or something. At this point, I'm starting to worry. Am I going to have to call an ambulance? Then, to my surprise, he gets back up on the treadmill and starts up that same crazy pace again. Only this time....he's only got one shoe on.

Huh? I have to tell myself not to stare.

About 3 minutes into his second workout, he slows the pace down a bit and then kicks off his other shoe. Right about now, I'm seriously considering just leaving. I don't think I can NOT laugh anymore. Luckily, he leaves after about 10 more minutes, but not after using the "floor" of the treadmill as a seat again, breathing like he's got a 3 pack a day habit.

Letters to People at the Gym (probably a series)

As I might have mentioned before (or I might not have...it's been forEVER since I last posted) Rat and I have joined a gym. And with joining a gym, along with fitness and the hope of less ass, comes interaction with "gym people". Gym People are the type of people who, if you meet them anywhere other than the gym, they seem to be completely normal people. However. If you meet them in the gym, you will memorize the days and times that they are there and will avoid the gym at all costs at these times.

Now don't get me wrong. Gym People are not all bad. Sometimes they are good. Very Gooooood. But if you happen to be married, as I am, this can be very baaaaaad. Now I'm thinking that the very gooood gym people are mostly men. And I'm thinking this for a reason other than I'm a girl and I like men. The women who are at the gym all the time (i.e. personal trainers, workout-aholics, etc) think they look like supermodels and are super sexy. They could not be more wrong. They are so wrong that when you say "wrong" you have to say it like they do in the Sonic commercials. "W-Rong" Stringy and orange is not sexy. It's scary. And it's even scarier than I'm not talking about hair. I'm talking about when you can see all the muscle fibers and tendons and such because the women is...well...what's the word? Buff? Pumped? Ripped? Stringy is the first thing that pops into my mind. It just looks wrong. They look like men from the chin down. And don't get me started on the BLEACHED blonde hair (all caps means so bleached that it's just fried) and the fact that their skin is the color of a carrot. You're not fooling us! We know that's a fake tan. And fake hair color. And no one's teeth are that white. They just set off the orange color. Please. Take a day or two off from the "sun in a bottle".

And these people. They are extreme. The kind of extreme where they would want you to spell it "X-Treme"!!! (with that many exclamation points)

I realize I'm ranting here, but it's not like I can say anything to these people's faces. They'd crack me in half! Rat signed up for 12 personal trainer sessions (because they were super cheap when we signed up) and he's had 6 and then had to tell the personal trainer lady that because we were going to have to get our chimney straightened and get a new roof put on the house (thank you wind storm) that he wasn't going to be able to sign up for more sessions. And according to him she said "no, you can't do that".

Umm...what?

Come to find out that she used to work at another gym in town where one of my friends is a member and my friend says that no one there liked her and we're thinking she was fired.

Really.

Wonder why?

I can't imagine.

So. On to the letters. I've written several, but seeing as how this post has gotten a bit off topic already, I'll save those for later. Hopefully tomorrow. I'm trying to do better at posting (or at least I'm going to try).

So...here's a picture of some ducks that were randomly in our front yard, even though we don't live on or really near water.



And here's a picture of Ebenezer staring at the ducks imagining them in the oven.



And here's a picture of Winston not caring.

Pleez yallz....sumbodee jus rubs mah belly!

And if y'all are good, tomorrow I'll tell ya' about creepy bunny cupcakes! I know, you can't wait!

One Question And One Comment About the Duke Thing and Then I'll Shut Up...

First, the question. As soon as the "accuser" yelled that she was raped by three white Duke students, their names, pictures, life histories, etc were splashed all over television, newspapers, radio, blah blah blah. What happened to "innocent until proven guilty"? Out the window? Now that it's come to light that yes, acctually, they're innocent "Oops, we're sorry" and all that, what happens to the girl who put them through hell for over a year? No one even knows her name! The pictures they put on the news of her in court have her face blurred out. I think we should get a little glimpse into her life for awhile. Let her see what she put three innocent people through. I guess my question would be "Where the hell does she get off?" She's done actual rape victims a real disservice. I'm a bit too lazy to look up the actual stats at the moment, but a huge percentage of rapes go unreported every year because the victims are afraid of not being believed. There should be consiquences for the "accusor's" actions. If they're thinking of bringing Nifong up on charges, then I think she should face them too.

Hmm....I think I'm ranting. Anyway. You get my point. I'm all "eye for an eye" on this one.

Now...the comment. I knew they were innocent. I could feel it in my bones. I was right! Suckahs!

And also? People in NC? Try to get on the national news for something good next time. I'm tired of seeing my beloved state on the world news for all the wrong reasons. Let people know how great it is here! :)

P.S. Don Imus? Who the hell? I gotta say, I had never heard of him until his unfortunate comment. And Don? The Marlboro Man called...he wants his outfit back. Ass.

Is It Wrong If......

...I wouldn't mind if my late mother in law's husband of 2 years just kind of....disappeared?

...I want him to try to take everything (like he's doing) and we totally screw him and he ends up with nothing?

...I want to hurt that sneaky, coniving, bastard little creep?!

Seriously. I do. I want to hurt him. Badly.

I had a dream about him (when he left my MiL the second of the 2 times he left her!) where I saw him in Petsmart and I ended up beating him silly with a dog bowl. I loved that dream. I miss that dream. I think maybe I'll try and have it again tonight. How do you make yourself have a specific dream?

Rat's sister (trying to think up a name for her on here) just called tonight and said that the SOB is trying to claim that since he was going to leave everything to my MiL that she was going to do the same, so he should get everything. OH MY GOD PEOPLE!!! They were married for TWO FREAKIN' YEARS!!! During which time he left her TWICE!!! Then had a stroke!!! They thought he wasn't going to make it, so my MiL drove to the hospital at midnight to sign over power of attorney to his ex wife and daughter! Then, he miraculously makes it (yay) and is all "the near death experience changed me" blah blah blah....and she takes him back.

great

Then, when she's about to move to another state where her daughter lives and start a new job (which the new jerk husband doesn't want to do) and she says "fine, you don't have to go anywhere. I'm movin' and I'm sellin' my house." she suddenly dies at 62. The first day of her retirement.

This just all doesn't add up to me.

Now he's claiming that she was going to leave everything to him so he should get everything anyway. Even though she has three children. He's saying that they should get nothing of their mother's to remember her by. He won't even let them have old family pictures. He got an injunction barring all 3 children from THEIR MOTHER'S HOUSE claiming that they were taking things out (which they weren't).

He's a jackass! A SON OF A BITCH!

I swear!!!! GRRRR!!!!! I just want to slap the shit out of him!

Okay, I'm going to go try and have a *good* dream.

Later

**ya know? maybe I should just find a way to lock him up with my dog for a minute of two. now that would be some good tv!

Ladies...Please. Listen Up.

So. There I am. Walking around the mall looking for a present for my mom. When I look around and notice all the women around me are not so much walking, as they are teetering around on super high heeled shoes. Of course, that's everyone, but me. Gaze upon my beautiful new shoes...


Yes I love them soooooo much. They are super comfy and also very stylish, no matter what anyone says. Pink spikes are IN this season!

Anyway, so these women that I'm seeing having to take 8-inch steps, looked very uncomfy and I am definitely Pro-Comfy. Now don't get me wrong. I love the pretty sandals and the heels and what not, but if I can't walk in 4-inch heels, I DO NOT BUY 4 INCH HEELS! Because if you can't walk in your shoes, you do not look super sexy! You look like an idiot. And also like you're going to fall over should a slight breeze be stirred up.

To the girl in the 4-inch chunky platforms: No one thought you were just meandering around the mall. We could all see that with the 'power combo' of shoes too tall for you and the jeans that you needed Crisco, Saran wrap and two good friends to get on, that you could not bend your knees and had to shuffle along like you were practicing skiing. Not cool. Not sexy. Just funny.

I should really start taking my camera more places with me. Although I doubt skank girl would have been too pleased with me taking her picture and snickering. But hey, it's not like she could catch me or anything! I could have gotten away from her at "window shopping" speed. Hee!

So, girls, and you know who you are, please wear shoes you can somewhat walk in. I'm not saying you've got to be able to run a marathon in them, but if you're going to stroll around the mall, then wear the appropriate shoes.

*stepping down off soapbox*

/rant

Meh

Okay. So far, not really impressed with MySpace, but really...did I think I was going to be? Umm...no. I guess I just don't get it. What does it do? What's it for? Other than to promote the new Transformers movie, which I hear enough about at home because Rat is a huge dork. Hee.

I get that it can be used as a dating service of sorts (not that I'd ever date anyone that found me on freakin' MySpace, but hey, that's just me).

And you can like, leave messages for people? Am I correct about that?

Please, someone! Help! What's the point of MySpace?! I'm starting to get why people call it "WhySpace"...cause just really...whyyyyyy???

Anyway.

Enough of that.

I feel like I've been kind of a sucky bloggy person as of late, skipping my Things on the Road Thursdays, and I can't remember the last time I did SPF, not to mention the sporatic posting.

*whispers* my cat is staring at me....for like 5 minutes now...wtf...*/whispers*

So. My point? Umm...Oh yeah! I'll try to do better! :) Like now! See? Doing better! Writing stuff.

I totally dropped a carton of eggs not 20 feet out of the grocery store today. Yeah, that was fun. Surprisingly, only 4 of them were broken though. Oh damn! I was going to make a cake for Rat! I completely forgot until now! Stupid brain. Always on break. I made a doggy cake today (apple cinnamon just in case you were wondering, and don't kid yourself, you totally were) and when Rat got home he looked at it and you could see his brain working things out. First it was "Yay! A cake! And it's just for me!". Then it was "Wait, what are those things in it?". Then "Oh, they're apples." And finally "Dammit, this is for the dog, isn't it?".

I'm looking for a name for that one now too. So...still looking for a name for this cake (and remember, winner gets doggy treats!!!) and now looking for a name for this one too. Didn't take a picture of it though. But again, apple and cinnamon. And it's made in a "bundt" pan (is that right?....I think it's right) so it's round with a hole in the middle and then cut into wedges. Same as the other one.

In other news....This is back.


Yeah. I know.

At least, I thought I knew. Until I got to play my new Spyro. Now...I am in love.

Yes. Yes, you are right. Rat IS the luckiest man alive! How sweet of you to notice.

And now, in closing, just because I love y'all, here is a picture of the shirt I wore today.


And let me go ahead and tell all you postal workers, cashiers, waiters and waitresses, stock boys, and nosey old ladies out there that no, I do not in fact, eat glue. If I did, do you really think I would wear a shirt saying so? NO! No I would not.

Also, do you have any idea how many pictures I had to take to get one that focused on the shirt and not my boobs?

If y'all are lucky, I post one of the shirt I'm thinking of wearing tomorrow. I get a little nervous about wearing that one in public, lest I offend someone. hee.

And Johnboy, y'all have a nice day.

March Shall Hereby Be Removed From My Calendar

Dear March,

You have been a shitty month. You suck. Please end.

That is all.

-barnmouse


Well. Now that we've gotten that out of the way.

Due to the fact that I have to go to ANOTHER funeral tomorrow, Things on the Road Thursday has been moved up a few hours this week. I was going to just say "screw it", but since I skipped last week too, I just couldn't do that without feeling like I was blowing something off and I hate that feeling.

Sooooooooo.......

Things on the Road Thursday!!! Finally!



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*deep breath*

HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously. I can't be the only one who snickers whenever they see one of these. I can't. Can I? Really? C'mon. I won't tell. I swear. You know you giggle. Just a little. Maybe not full blown hysterical laughter like me, but you KNOW it's funny!

And there you have it gentlefolk. Now I have to go look up a map that will hopefully clearify directions that my dad gave me earlier. Just a note. Random words mixed with "uh" and long pauses do not make good directions. Pass it on.

Your Lucky Numbers Are: 3, 6, 14, 18, 23

I am so in the mood for Chinese food right now. Anyone else? Wanna order in?

I love Chinese food. It used to be very affordable. Remember that? I think I do. It's been so long, I'm not sure though. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just the place that we order from. I've been spoiled though.

When I was growing up, we had this place called "The Hong Kong Chinese Restaurant" that my parents and I used to go to. It was the best! Now I'm spoiled. I have to have my shrimp fried rice made the right way or that's it for your restaurant. And you only get one shot at it. Don't think I'm going to risk another chance for good Chinese food on a place that puts peas in the rice even when asked not to. Oh no. I won't be burned again. It takes me forever to convince Rat to get Chinese food, so I'm only bettin' on a sure thing! Maybe their prices are higher than usual? Maybe I should step out of my (very) little safety zone and try another place? What do you normally pay for Chinese food?

I've tried making it myself. We won't discuss that. I'm in the process of trying to block it out of my memory.

Yeah, yeah. Enough whining. It's not helping the Chinese food craving I'm having now. I've got to go plant flowers anyway before they die in the little plastic packages that we bought them in.

So Maybe This Cold Isn't Going to Kill Me

Right.

So.

Go ahead. I know what you're thinking.

Where the hell have you been?!

And I have a very simple answer for you:

ON THE COUCH.

That's pretty much it.

There have been occasional trips to the fridge for more tea or diet mt dew. And to the pantry, for croutons. YES I SAID CROUTONS. Shut up. When you're this sick, if you can eat anything, you would be well advised to do so.

I'm still kinda cough-y, so I'm alternating between sleeping in the bed and sleeping on the couch, depending on how badly I'm coughing that day. It always seems to get worse at night. And, on top of that, I've run out of cold medicine. Rat compared me to Minnie Driver's character on The Riches (love it-btw), so no more cold medicine for poor little sick Mouse. *sniffle* (now feel sorry for me right now dammit!)

Last night I finally had enough cough drops to let me go to sleep around 3am. And Rat was so happy to have something to cuddle with that he over slept by almost 2 hours. Whoopsey.

"Star Trek:Voyager coming up next" Um. No. *changing channel*

Ahhhh.....That 70's Show. A steady IV of this show kept me alive last week. Rat found this "Jib Jab" thing about a year ago that had Bruce Willis calling Ashton Kutcher "Ass-ton" and then Ashton called him "B-Dog". It was very funny. You'll just have to take my word for it. K? Alright then.

And can someone please tell me where snot comes from because My Lawd! An entire large box and a half of tissues! And still coughing and sniffling.

Now let's see...have I complained enough? Umm....nope! TV Programers out there! Please! I beg of you! Play something at least half-way interesting between 2 and 5am!!! Seriously. I have run out of recorded episodes of Family Guy. This isn't funny anymore. I need some more cartoons. And a way to get something out of the fridge without getting up. Please get back to me on this last one as it is of the uttmost importance.

Now I have a funny picture for this week's Things on the Road Thursday. And if I can remember to get the cable to attach my phone to my computer I will post it. If not, I have a really funny picture for next week's Things on the Road Thursday.

Hee.

Also, today (or actually yesterday, but I haven't gone to bed yet, so I still think of it as today) is Shadow's birthday! He is SIX! Woo! For his birthday I got him one of those giant bouncy balls that you get from like Target in those big bins. It was very funny. I will post pictures. Maybe. Ha! Anyway, wish mah cute wittle puppy a happy birthday and he will not come and eat you. Anyone who doesn't, you're on your own.

Thank God for Puffs Plus with Lotion

Oh dear me. Y'all. This cold is kicking my ass.

I've gotten through the "throat so sore I can not swallow" phase and the "sneezing every three seconds" phase, and the "I'm hot, no I'm cold, no I'm hot..." phase, but now I can't seem to get out of the "coughing so hard I nearly barf" phase

*hack hack*

excuse me

I'm running out of recorded things to watch on tv and commercials?!?! Nooooooo!!!

I'm sick of doing laundry. It seems like laundry and blowing my nose are the only two things I've done in a week.

I think Rat is getting tired of me being too dizzy and snotty to do anything.

Speak of the devil, there's the laundry timer thingy now. I would sigh, but it would make me cough.

Does anyone have a sure fire cough remedy?

Anything else to write about? Umm. No. Okay then. I'll be back when the threat of my hacking up snot on my keyboard is downgraded from Red to Orange.

*hack hack*

Ultimate Blog Party Post - Down to the Wire Much?

So, hi. Welcome to my blog!

It's not about anything specific, just whatever happens to fall out of my head and makes it's way onto the keyboard. Pretty random stuff.

I'm pretty much drawing a blank on the interesting stuff I was going to post at the moment. But how's this...sick. I'm sick. Very sick. Drowning in snot. Blargh.

I do this thing called "Things on the Road Thursday" which sounds kinda gross, but really isn't. I'm not talking "Things Squished on the Road", but just things. Anything that I happen to see and find interesting. I missed this Thursday, but will definitely be back with "TRT" next Thursday.

I have two kitties, one huge dog, and a hubby.

I live in North Carolina. I think that this is the best place to live. I love my state! :)

I'm in the process of starting my own gourmet dog treat business (which coincidentally is what I have up as a prize!) called Canine Confections. I've posted many a picture of different treats on here, so if ya want just poke around in the ol' archives.

I'll be updating this (hopefully) all day as I think of more interesting things, but I wanted to get this up, so I could sign Mr Linky (which I still don't really understand, but I'm not exactly a computer genious like The Hubs).

No Pain, No Gain...Or Loss...Whatever...

Does anyone want to take a wild guess why my foot hurts after my walk/run today?

Anyone?

Hmm?

Here's a clue...



Still need more?

Okay....

Here's another clue...



Yeah...that felt nice.

Also, on my walk/run today, I saw this:



It's a turtle! What? Don't you see it? Right there! Here's a close up (sorry, had to take it on my phone, so the quality sucks)


Also, this weeks Things on the Road Thursday is gonna rock! I saw some strange ass stuff this week on the road.

Of Ginger Marinated Hamster Toes and Brown Sugar Glazed Buffalo Boogers

I don't know if y'all remember, but back then, I was way too excited that we were getting a Trader Joes.

Yeeeeaaaaah.

Apparently, it was really nothing to get excited over.

They took what used to be a Winn Dixie and turned it into a Trader Joe's AND a Staples. And believe me when I tell you that most of that space went to Staples.

This place is cramped and filled with way too many overly excited, very rude people who push you with their carts. This place isn't even big enough for people to walk around with baskets, much less carts! Maybe it's calmed down a little bit there since I went, but I don't see this place every getting "un-crazy" enough for me to go back there. Unless of course I'm in the market for some of the strange ass shit they have there. Hey, try our lastest find! Guatemalan Chocolate Covered Monkey Farts! They're what every dish needs! And great for midnight snacking!

The only things I would ever go back there for are carob (for the dog treats) or this huge bottle of vanilla extract that I saw there for a pretty good price for my homemade marshmallows*. That's pretty much it.

And OMG - apparently, if you buy one of their "special items" of the day...the cashier rings this huge bell thing SO loud (and with no warning) and then hollers something out, but I was too busy screaming and running for the door to hear what it was! I'm sorry, but for skiddish, twitchy people like me, the loud bell and the yelling? Yeah, not a good combination.

When I finally made my way out of there, the outside had never felt so good. I think you could actually cut the anxiety in there with a knife. And the people? OMG The rude people! I could have gone my whole life without being rammed in the butt with a shopping cart. Yeah. That was interesting.

*stepping down off soapbox*

I'll be back later with a dog treat update.

*and the homemade marshmallows? Dee-Li-Shus!

It is Official. I Do Not Have Super Powers.

Alternate Title - Has the Whole World Gone Retarded?

In the past 30 minutes, I have waited for the slowest person in the world to check out about a frillion groceries in the only operable self check out line in the grocery store, and then waited for her to bag ALL of her groceries in seperate bags (I now know the reason the rainforest is being depleted. It's for her bags!). I have also been nearly backed into by an old lady in a giant Caddy, almost been run over by a minivan, and nearly crushed between my Jeep and a Mercedes Benz that is not going to look very nice as long as the Beeyatch in it keeps driving like that! I mean this lady just HAD to park in THAT space (the whole lane was almost entirely deserted with many spots closer to the store) and could not wait FIVE seconds for me to get in my car and shut the door. She was about two inches away from hitting my door (and getting a dent in her face the shape of my foot). Not to mention she pulled into the spot at about 15 miles an hour! It really felt like she was gunning for me.

Also, I was nearly backed into by some kind of foreign guy (no idea where from, just not here, not that it matters) in a Honda Accord that APPARENTLY could not go more than 5 miles an hour. Even on the road. Asshat made me sit through an entire green light just to find a spot big enough to turn at half a mile an hour. Dork!

Then, to crown it all off, when I pulled onto the street before my street (following me so far?) I got behind some guy with South Carolina plates that, I'm guessing, had no idea where he was going. I hate that. Look. If you don't know where you're going, don't go 20 below the speed limit (when it's only 35 to begin with) looking at every street sign, going slow enough to turn when you see it, when there's a line of people behind you. Go the speed limit. If you miss your turn, there are Puh-Lenty of places to turn around. GET OUT OF MY WAY!

*eye twitch*

At least I have this to come home to:



*That treat you see at the top is a "Pawmesan Wiggle". Hee hee!

What Really Grinds My Gears*

*Yes, I watched the 4 hour Family Guy marathon on Sunday night. Why do you ask?

So back to what is ticking me off. Telemarketers posing as charities. Apparently, since telemarketers are no longer allowed to use the "unknown number" trick now they're using names like "Boston, MA" and a bunch of city names that I've never heard of and am kind of doubting that they actually are cities. Just a bunch of letters stuck together. And they're all trying to get money for policeman balls (which now that I type it, that looks really bad. HEE!) and fireman cotillions or something equally ridiculous. Not that I wouldn't give money to the cops and firemen. Just not for places 2000 miles away. I would think that these people would have a much better chance of getting people to donate if they called people in THAT state. And then they try to guilt you into it when you say that sorry, but you just can't right now. Then they say something like "How about I put you down for just $10?".

That just pisses me off.

It's bad enough that I'm terrified of the phone, but now when I look at the caller id, I have to think if I know someone in that area because sometimes cell phones come up as a city, state instead of the number or a name.

And you can't report these people to the donotcall people because technically, they're a charity and charities are exempt from that, so apparently they can call you 4 times a day if they feel like it (which one of them actually did to me).

Last year, we made the (apparent) mistake of donating to the breast cancer foundation. This year, I get a call from some guy who sounds like he knows me. He's asking me how I am and what's going on. All sorts of weird questions. This guy kept me on the phone for 20 minutes basically auctioning off this package of stuff he wanted to send me. Finally I just said fine and he said that someone would call later on to confirm and get my info and whatever. Can you guess what happened when they called? Yeah. I just let it ring. Eventually they stopped calling.

I'm absolutely no good with telling people "no". Especially people I don't know. I get flustered and my mind goes blank and I can't think of anything to say.

Also, I did not know this, but apparently when you donate to one charity, they give all your information to their "affiliates", so that's why suddenly there are 7 different charities trying to hit you up for cash. It only took one call to get you on 7 lists, but you can't just tell one to take your name off their list, you have to tell all 7. So irritating!

I always think of great things to say about an hour after I talk to them. And I'm just too chicken to yell at them and tell them to leave me alone. Or hang up on them. And I hate it when they just talk over you and won't let you get a word in edgewise. Do they really think they can wear you down and you'll just give them money?

GAH!

Whew...that's better. I think my blood pressure went back down. I'm sure that was kind of a patchwork rant, but it made me feel better. Oh, and be careful when filling out those entry forms at the mall and some grocery stores. A lot of them have fine print at the bottom that says something to the effect of "by signing this you agree to calls from our affiliates" or something like that.

On a totally unrelated note, does anyone else hate those esurance commercials? Ugh! I just despise those. I really don't know why. They just Grind my Gears! (see? see what I did right there? I brought the title all the way around to include my extra little rant. that's talent, people!)