Monday, April 23, 2007

Letters to People at the Gym (probably a series)

As I might have mentioned before (or I might not have...it's been forEVER since I last posted) Rat and I have joined a gym. And with joining a gym, along with fitness and the hope of less ass, comes interaction with "gym people". Gym People are the type of people who, if you meet them anywhere other than the gym, they seem to be completely normal people. However. If you meet them in the gym, you will memorize the days and times that they are there and will avoid the gym at all costs at these times.

Now don't get me wrong. Gym People are not all bad. Sometimes they are good. Very Gooooood. But if you happen to be married, as I am, this can be very baaaaaad. Now I'm thinking that the very gooood gym people are mostly men. And I'm thinking this for a reason other than I'm a girl and I like men. The women who are at the gym all the time (i.e. personal trainers, workout-aholics, etc) think they look like supermodels and are super sexy. They could not be more wrong. They are so wrong that when you say "wrong" you have to say it like they do in the Sonic commercials. "W-Rong" Stringy and orange is not sexy. It's scary. And it's even scarier than I'm not talking about hair. I'm talking about when you can see all the muscle fibers and tendons and such because the women is...well...what's the word? Buff? Pumped? Ripped? Stringy is the first thing that pops into my mind. It just looks wrong. They look like men from the chin down. And don't get me started on the BLEACHED blonde hair (all caps means so bleached that it's just fried) and the fact that their skin is the color of a carrot. You're not fooling us! We know that's a fake tan. And fake hair color. And no one's teeth are that white. They just set off the orange color. Please. Take a day or two off from the "sun in a bottle".

And these people. They are extreme. The kind of extreme where they would want you to spell it "X-Treme"!!! (with that many exclamation points)

I realize I'm ranting here, but it's not like I can say anything to these people's faces. They'd crack me in half! Rat signed up for 12 personal trainer sessions (because they were super cheap when we signed up) and he's had 6 and then had to tell the personal trainer lady that because we were going to have to get our chimney straightened and get a new roof put on the house (thank you wind storm) that he wasn't going to be able to sign up for more sessions. And according to him she said "no, you can't do that".

Umm...what?

Come to find out that she used to work at another gym in town where one of my friends is a member and my friend says that no one there liked her and we're thinking she was fired.

Really.

Wonder why?

I can't imagine.

So. On to the letters. I've written several, but seeing as how this post has gotten a bit off topic already, I'll save those for later. Hopefully tomorrow. I'm trying to do better at posting (or at least I'm going to try).

So...here's a picture of some ducks that were randomly in our front yard, even though we don't live on or really near water.



And here's a picture of Ebenezer staring at the ducks imagining them in the oven.



And here's a picture of Winston not caring.


Pleez yallz....sumbodee jus rubs mah belly!

And if y'all are good, tomorrow I'll tell ya' about creepy bunny cupcakes! I know, you can't wait!

4 comments:

Arlene said...

Um, I guess I need to get back to the gym. This post makes me feel guilty for not going, and, um, I have no excuse now for not going. Kudos to you guys for going!!! How's the whole less ass thing working? That cracked me up, as it's so what I need to do!
The ducks are cute, as are the kitties :-)
I'm working on posting more too...let's hope we both get to!

barnmouse said...

Less ass = not so much less right now

:P

working on it though

Hee

Shell said...

That's funny about the ducks and the cats. Did he do that little whiney crackly kitty meow that my Mom's do when they get excited about something?

barnmouse said...

shell - they weren't doing that at the ducks (probably because Winston is the only one that really does that and he didn't seem very interested in the ducks. the outside scares him). Ebenezer only does it when she wants food and she's about to get it. She fluffs her tail all out and starts "squeakin'" at me. LOL